Mouse and keyboard are not wireless and not plugged in.
User turned in opposite direction from computer and believes its not working.
User still a single celled organism and does not possess hands and fingers with opposable thumbs.
User attempting to type with forehead.
User believes computer can read his/her mind: Tries to move mouse pointer on screen using ESP.
When asked over the phone if computer is working, user responds: “What’s a computer?”.
User has window blinds on monitor and blinds are closed.
User calls tech support, concerned that pc does not have a pulse.
Computer in sleep mode and user does not wish to disturb its dream.
When attempting to solve the user’s problem over the phone, tech support didn’t say “Simon says”.
The Russians did it.
Computer hasn’t been paid.
Attempt to change tv channel using Microsoft Excel fails.
User surprised he/she can type multiple words in Microsoft Word.
Fear of accessing the world wide web due to arachnophobia.
Tech support unaware, on phone, that screen too bright for vampire user.
Computer genuinely doesn’t work!